Death is so damned bittersweet....

**daemonsage420** · 06-20-2006, 12:36 AM

Why the is death so unforgiving and so plentiful?!! I've witnessed more tragedy than I feel is needed to be observed by a single person in a lifetime. I've mourned the loss of far too many of my own kin. And yet more and more seem to be lost to eternity each day. I can't believe the way things keep taking that turn toward what is worse. It's like a black rose that's barely begun to blossom. As each petal unfolds another life is expelled from the nectar of life. A new life begins but how long can it last? I'm choking on words that can't be spoken with more truth. This asphyxiation comes from the knowledge that I'll soon have a death to call my own. Life is far too short and those who deserve to live long die young. Life is irony. It's disgusting.

I've never expiated the sins I've committed and I'll probably never have an opportunity to do so. Yet it sickens me to even know that those who've done far less damaging things than myself are gone. Was it that they were too beautiful to be a part of this mess of a world?! Why must we be deprived of their presence?! Why is it so messed up?!! Destruction seems to have more control over my life than I do. Indeed, the endeavors I've undertaken have not all been based in evil or malice but my thoughts are as insignificant as a single raindrop in a storm. I'm getting sick...............

I was a little too emotional when I wrote this. I've made edits so it won't be as offensive as the previous version.

**Mar** · 06-20-2006, 12:45 AM

I'm sorry to whatever happened to cause you to get in the emotional state you're in.

Death is never a good thing, but eventually, as time passes, we need to forget their death and only think fondly of the memories they left with us.

I've seen peoeple I know been killed, but when you have my sort of family lifestyle, it's expected. The one that I'll always remember is one day I was driving to school, and all of a sudden I hear a odd sounding bang. I look to the left and see one of my classmates laying on the ground and blood starting to form around him. He was disgustingly disfigured too.

So, we called 911, etc. But he died before anyone could get there. It was a shocker for me to watch someone I knew, and that was younger than me, die. Anyways, our school mourned, etc. It was just a weird expeirence. Then after that I got to expeirence witnessing many people die and my best friends committing suicide.

Death is something that people obviously look lightly apon, but I don't like to dwell in my past.

**daemonsage420** · 06-20-2006, 12:52 AM

I believe you're right in saying we shouldn't dwell on the death of those we love. However it is quite hard to just forget something as damaging as the loss of someone's life whom you knew. I'm sure this isn't the worse that could've happened and I know it won't be the worse thing I'll ever experience, but all the same I've been dealt a blow that's hard to recover from. I've lost three cousins and two uncles in less than two months. It's not as simple as some might think to just get over but I've been able to deal with the **** life seems to hurl at me. It's just kinda hard to remain in the same state of mind after going through such unnerving experiences. Goddamn, my hands are shaking. Well, that's all I can really say for now.....

Ryan · 06-20-2006, 12:59 AM

I feel for you dude i kind of know how you feel just resently someone i knew pasted but not as much as you witnesses. And i know too much tradity can tear someone apart. Dont get ****ed up over such a thing. beleive me it happeneds.

**Manowar** · 06-20-2006, 01:12 AM

If someone says it's simple to get over the loss of a loved one or even a casual friend, they are brutally cold-hearted. It is often said that death is worse for those left behind, truer words could not be spoken. I mourn your loss Daemonsage. Loss haunts my mind and heart everyday. I lost my father 2 years ago and miss him everyday, he was not only my father but also my best friend. He had an Aneurism (brain bleed) he was instantly brain dead, he was on life support machines only keeping his heart and lungs working. By law 2 separate doctors have to examine a patient in this state and pronounce them brain dead. Then we made the decision to pull the plug, I held his hand as he passed away, and I cried.

**daemonsage420** · 06-20-2006, 01:19 AM

The thing that really gets to me is the thought that I'll never be able to converse with them again. I'll never be able to hear another word spoken by them. Their thoughts are never going to be thought by another person and no one can ever experience those things they understood or those things they might've left behind but were cut short of. The seperation is what get's me. I can't grasp it even though I understand the concept. I'll never be able to tell them jokes, laugh at theirs, or exchange ideas while in their company. All I have is a memory of what I knew while they were here. A memory isn't ever enough.

**Manowar** · 06-20-2006, 01:32 AM

Memories are all we have, the problem is, they become painful at times. We'll never know if they fullfilled their purpose while they we're here, we can only hold on to the truth that while they were here they made everyones life around them a little brighter. As far as conversing, I speak to my father often. I always took the time to speak to him while he was here, why should I stop now that he's gone. I feel he's keeping an eye on me and giving me a little fatherly nudge when I need it.

**daemonsage420** · 06-20-2006, 01:40 AM

I understand what you're saying. It's not that different from the scent a candle leaves behind long after it's light has been devoured by darkness. I know I'll always have an opportunity to speak to them but not the way I want. I'll never have more than a memory to go on. But what is significant is the impression they've left behind. I'll always hold them in my heart and in my head. As long as I remember then they'll never truly be dead. It's so much easier to allow myself to be consoled but I must remember that it's not me who is experiencing the worst of it all.

**Manowar** · 06-20-2006, 02:23 AM

On the contrary, if you truly believe ( as I ) that our loved ones who have passed are in a better place, then we who are left behind, experience the worst, due to the pain and sorrow of losing them. Consolement cannot fill the void that was created upon our loss. It is only a temporary diversion from the emotional distress.

Ryan · 06-20-2006, 04:33 AM

The heart for a loved one can be hurtful. When someone i new pasted people told me to remember the good times, but remembering always makes it hurt. Remembering cant fill that empty space. All it will do is make it hurt more. The heart can be ungurling at sometimes. Not remembering in this time you will have control of that heart and it wont have control of you. Remembering when you have gottin over the sorrow is good but, not when your still in pain. Its kind of like a girl that cheated on you, you move onto something better. i feel for you.

**Zac** · 06-20-2006, 08:17 AM

call me cold hearted, a liar, or whatever u wish but for some reason ive never had a real problem getting over a death, also i've never cried at a funeral. i don't know why but i seem to be able to get over stuff extremely fast.

**Pimpin101** · 06-20-2006, 08:50 AM

For some reason that doesnt surprise me....I on the other hand grieve a while when I a close friend or relative dies.......you can call me a softy or whatever you want but thats just the way I am

**Hero of Time** · 06-20-2006, 11:55 AM

I am also like Zac, cold hearted. I also don't know why. But If someone dies I just don't feel sad because I feel that this person is now in a better place then us and I'm happy for him/her. They are finally released from all those pressure that they had when they live in our world. That's why I feel a bit happy instead of being sad. I guess i'm just like that.