Two poems

Emarian · 10-29-2007, 09:04 PM

Yeah. I had to write two poems for my English class. >.< A friend said they were very good. I wasn't really worried about it, so I decided to post them up here to see what you guys think.

I like this one.

Ensconced in turmoil,
And held in grief,
Threatened by kindness,
Affected by life,
The world turns, the world stops.
Composed of hate,
And strengthened by agony,
Ravenous for salvation,
Forsaken by beauty,
The world turns, the world stops.
Based on apathy,
And restrained by passion,
Supported by oppression,
Liberated by love,
The world turns, the world continues.

Here's my other one, I didn't really like it.

Love
Your eyes widen,
A slight tremor races through your body,
A flutter through your veins,
A siphon of strength is lost,
But a heart's lost piece is recovered.

**Halcyon** · 10-29-2007, 09:07 PM

First one is better.

baby4711 · 10-29-2007, 09:08 PM

wow i love them

my poems tend to be about death and self harm hehe yours are so cool

and again i love them

.x.X.x.NADINE.x.X.x.

Emarian · 10-29-2007, 09:08 PM

Thnx. They weren't optional though. xD

**Halcyon** · 10-29-2007, 09:09 PM

You should have written an ode to your monster PC.

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

0010
0101
0110
1010
1101..."

Emarian · 10-29-2007, 09:11 PM

ROFL! THAT WOULD BE SO FUNNY!

"Ms. Ambert, you just need to convert the binary to alphanumerical, here, let me show you."

ROFL@HALCYON

**Sovereign002** · 10-31-2007, 04:51 PM

I like the first one most. Nice poems! I might post of a couple of mine someday too.

Jorgi · 11-01-2007, 12:33 PM

To be honest I didn't like it.

To much advanced words, seems like all newbie poems use that strategy to make good poems.

Else you got what it takes, with a little practise you could make poems, not that it's very hard though.

Like a Norwegian poem called snow:

Snow.
Falling dead.
No words, no joy.
Dead.

Lawl at that. i can make better, like:

Hey sister, why do you do those things again?
Why do you have to take that dress on tonight?
Oh please.
50 bucks, she is crying.
You don't need to sell your body to the night.

Emarian · 11-01-2007, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jorgi

To be honest I didn't like it.

To much advanced words, seems like all newbie poems use that strategy to make good poems.

Else you got what it takes, with a little practise you could make poems, not that it's very hard though.

Like a Norwegian poem called snow:

Snow.
Falling dead.
No words, no joy.
Dead.

Lawl at that. i can make better, like:

Hey sister, why do you do those things again?
Why do you have to take that dress on tonight?
Oh please.
50 bucks, she is crying.
You don't need to sell your body to the night.

Meh, your tastes are radically different from Americans. You don't like our music, nor our poems. xD And no offense meant, but I don't like yours either. And newbie poems do NOT use advanced words, and when they do, it sounds choppy. Mine is not choppy..xD

Jorgi · 11-01-2007, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emarian

Meh, your tastes are radically different from Americans. You don't like our music, nor our poems. xD And no offense meant, but I don't like yours either. And newbie poems do NOT use advanced words, and when they do, it sounds choppy. Mine is not choppy..xD

Who said I didn't like your music?

Kamelot, QOTSA, Led Zeppelin, Johnny Winter, Jimi Hendrix, ZZ TOP, Kyuss, more more

All from USA dude. Your music is great and bad.

btw No offence taken, I think most of you guys have horrible music taste.

I don't like poems generally. I thought that was your first poem, so I did a quick solution, but I didn't like it.
I don't know if it's choppy or not I don't care, it's annoying to read.

Emarian · 11-01-2007, 02:49 PM

All of our less popular artists...xD I meant current music. And it is my first, but ok.

**Sovereign002** · 11-02-2007, 08:11 AM

Popular depends on the person to be honest. I mean, Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin are very popular, among teenagers and adults,